Recharging...



Busy, busy, busy and happy, happy, happy




Wednesday August 25 3:40pm Reality bites...

Well, the are certain things that were always certain on this trip. I just knew the day of testing would come. This child simply knows people. Today was the day I had to introduce some obedience. It was as simple as hold my hand, let me pick you up. That was when, as Dr. Dobson puts it, she stuck her hairy little toe over the line to massive rebellion. I think that whatever dogs live in Changsha had to have begun howling at the screams Corin Malia Yi Hua Wright can belt out. All of the lobby. All of the 30 floors to our room. Surely all of the 30th floor. I made her go into the playroom with me and stay until she would take my hand. I sent poor Grace to the room. She wanted Grace's hand. She was going to have to settle for mine.


Dear friends, this is very very hard. It breaks my heart like it does when we hold our child's leg for a shot. I so want to tell her that it is all ok. I just want what is best for her, but she does not see it that way. She does not understand me or know me, but she has to obey a little for her own safety on these hazardous roads, in the huge airport, and for the next 15 years or so. She hit me a couple of times and tried her best to bite me. When I did leave the playroom with her after about 15 minutes......what a long 15 minutes that was, she was still wrestling me. When she saw Grace she ran to her for comfort and I had to tell Grace not to do it. Then I went into the bathroom and cried and Grace sat in the room and cried. What 13 year old would not adore having a sister to want her so badly?

I talked to Wes about it later as Grace was playing with Cori and we were on Skype. Cori has been hitting Grace as well, so we agreed to let Grace correct her as a parent would. Then, all on her own, Grace began to make Cori ask me for anything she wanted rather than getting it from Grace. Then Grace had several occasions to say no.

We took her back to the playroom and Grace and I played our own dice game while Cori had the toys to herself. We wanted to show her we have a relationship ourselves and that we are not just here to entertain her. She is stubborn but will ask for help so I was able to interact with her on those matters.

On to lunch. She is bored silly but does not fuss even with a long wait for food. Today she had spaghetti. She has plenty of experience with noodles. We thought we would send Grace from the table to the room but she would not have that. As we put her down for her nap she was not cooperating. Grace laid down in her bed and acted like she was napping. Cori had little tears in her eyes when she realized she was out voted. But then she let me rub her hair as she went to sleep.

Hunan has fiery girls. We have heard that many times. We have one such girl on our hands. She plays independently, eats neatly and wipes off her hands and mouth. She can be completely charming and happy, or stubborn and hot angry. She is a complex and complete package, just as God made us all.

I just finished Mary Beth Chapman's book. She reminded me of something most adoptive families know. Adoption is in many ways like Christ coming from His place in heaven to our place. Lowly earth. And He came to bring us into God's family by adoption. Many of us embrace that immediately. I think of Jena. But then there is much work to be done to make us whole. Many of us see Him as just a pleasant place to camp out for awhile, but when He has to tell us 'No' we get angry and frustrated. I think of Lily. Eventually we realize that He is our home and He means the discipline for our good.

And many of us are like Cori. We kick and scream and bite. We turn our backs and turn up our noses. We take the part of the Christian life that we find fun, but we despise and reject the authority. We fight and bite and hit. We try to manipulate. We grunt in anger and push away. We cling more tightly to our toys than our Parent.

But right now, I am looking on the most beautiful, angelic face as she sleeps. I long for her to love me back. I long for her to gladly accept me as her Momma. I came all this way for her......................and I love her deeply. I will never stop loving her and I will protect her no matter what she does. We have all felt this way about toddlers! We had to go in and see them when they were sleeping sometimes to remember how much we loved them, especially after a day of tantrums.

I hope to move past the toddler stage with God, but I have to be honest, it rears its head far more often than I would like to admit. And He never leaves.

I will be here when she wakes up. ...

Please pray for both Grace and I to have supernatural wisdom, patience, and grace.

Check out the picture.......such beauty.